Chapter 15

David

The next day was mostly normal. Mostly. When your life is like mine, not one day passes that is normal.

    So it was a mostly-normal Monday. Jo had to lie and say she broke her leg delivering packages. I supported it, but kept saying I didn’t have anything to do with it. How did people guess? Was Jo telling them?

“Hey,” Jake nudged me with his elbow, “you still there?” I realized my mind was wandering, so I pulled it back to the events of now.

“Yeah.” I hadn’t talked to Jake in a while (I’ve had a lot of missions this past week), so I hoped we could find something to talk about. Like if Alex should keep his afro (Alex, the spy), of if the football team should get new jerseys, of if Miss Hillian (our literature teacher) is hot without her glasses. Something.

We were walking to recess (more like running), and Jake asked me if I wanted to be offense of defence today. We always play football against the sophomores at recess (Jake’s a senior and I’m a junior).

“Defence.” I muttered. Maybe I’d have time to ask Jo about what she and CJ were talking about. If I was on defence, the team might not notice if I was gone.

When we got outside, I saw Josiphina and a bunch of other juniors gathered around her. She looked up and waved at me and I smiled back.

“Blue or green?” One of the girls asked her, and she looked back down. They must be signing her cast. She looked glad to have all the attention but she also looked overwhelmed and a little woozy. I hoped the medicine all the nurses in our building gave her wasn’t hurting, she looked sick this morning.

“C’mon,” Jake pulled me away, “why are you paying attention to them.” He made a face. Sometimes I want to yell at him. Sometimes i want to punch him. But now, I want to throw him on the ground and make him beg for forgiveness. How dare he say that!

“Whatever.” I shrugged. Why don’t I ever stand up to him?

Ever since he hit me in second grade-after we made a bet and I won (Jake sort of has anger issues)- I’ve been kind of afraid of him. No, not afraid. I was never afraid.

But I was scared of what Josiphina was going to tell me, when I would slip away.

“You take this one Felix.” I listened to the voice and realized it was mine. I had reacted out of instinct.

Josiphina was waiting at the gate.

“Okay.” Felix called back to me. He ran to take my place as Safety, and I turned my attention to the girl in crutches who had been waiting at the gate for me.

Sometimes I think that Jo and I share a brain.

I ran toward her, keeping my face down, hoping she wouldn’t see the eagerness on my face. I ran past her, not wanting to attract attention, but she grabbed my hand and smiled.

“Let go.” I hissed. “I don’t want us to be seen together.”

Her smile faded. She stood there looking at me, hurt. I tried to jerk my hand away but she wouldn’t let go. Please, I wanted to tell her, let go so that I can grab your hand. So that I can be the one to hold you tightly and tell you I’m sorry one million times. But when I opened my mouth no words came out. I couldn’t breath. The world seemed to stop around us, but her eyes were heavy weights as she stared at me waiting.

I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her. How dare I say that. Am I like Jake? I’m just like him. I didn’t want to be, but it was true. I had been just like him. Jo must of thought that I didn’t think she was good enough for me. She must of assumed that I thought it would ruin my reputation if I was seen hanging out with her. I wanted to tell her that I didn’t. But when I go over my words in my head, that’s exactly what I said.

“Oh.”

Josiphina started to move away slowly, then faster when I started to walk after her. She could go on crutches really fast, and I found myself running to keep up. I managed to step in front of her, and she turned away. I wished I hadn’t said the words. I wished I only could have written them. I could have just ripped up the paper and moved on. I would never have to see her face like this. How could I be so selfish? She’s gone through enough already.

“Please…” My voice trailed off like a stream that wouldn’t wait for me. I lost my chance to redeem myself.

“I thought you didn’t want us to be seen together.” I listened to her every word. “But now you’re following me.”

I saw tears swelling up her eyes. Part of me wanted to tell her to let them out, to let me comfort her, to forgive me. Part of me wanted her to swallow them and forget this ever happened. But the second one wouldn’t work. I couldn’t make her do that. Not when it was of no fault of her own.

“I-I-”

“No…” She turned and hobbled away. She didn’t look back. She didn’t need to.

Chapter 16

Josiphina

There’s a period of rest that happens before you fall asleep. When you’re, half sleeping half awake, half dreaming half thinking. When hope is mixed with reality.

That night, as I lay in bed I wished I didn’t have a care in the world. I wished I could slip into unconsciousness and dream up a fairytale. But I couldn’t close my eyes. Too many questions. But at least I knew one thing. My father was a spy. It built questions, but answered many more. Should I tell Mom? No, she doesn’t need more, she’s too hurt already. Gloria? Not yet. I wonder if she knows already…

No, impossible. Unless… Is Gloria a spy too? She’s disappeared sometimes at dinnertime-slash-lunchtime before. She’s very secretive. Does she know about me? I hoped she did. That way, I wouldn’t have to tell her.

The grandfather-clock in the corner of our family room went off, stating that it was ten o’clock. Sheets rustled under me as I turned over on my side and tried once again to fall asleep. I relaxed as I heard my mother humming quietly to our grandfather clock’s song. I’ll tell her. Once I tell her about myself.

Then I slipped into the period between sleep and wake. The ether.

A cliff. A waterfall. David, beside me.

Two men behind us. At our heels. We have nowhere to run.

They reveal themselves. Gary Clark. CJ Martinez.

David grabs my hand. Pulls me close. Sound returns.

Laughing is the first thing I hear, coming from our leaders behind us. For a second I wonder what is going on, but then, like all dreams, I understand. Completely.

CJ and Mr. Clark rip David from me and push. Down I fall. Into an endless sea of blue.

But I don’t hit the bottom.

Time seems to slow, and I look up at David. Bruised. Beaten. Determined. Lost.

His eyes reflect the full moon that looks like a pupil in the eye of the sky. He screams but there is no sound. Only laughing. Always laughing. At us. I read his lips.

Them.

He points to the evil men.

They did it.

My foot reaches the water.

It was them.

The tips of my hair become wet.

Them.

My head is submerged, and just like the water, sleep washes over me.